My goodness!  Once again, as your official Coronation Certification & Cat-Herding Coordinator, I am blown away by the love, talent, energy, and commitment in our community!  It is my utmost honor to present to you your official 2013 Hard French Winter Ball Court — and thank the stars I only have to count the votes, because I honestly don’t know who I’d vote for!  But remember, you must be present at the ball to vote, so if you want to see your friendsies win, you better get a ticket ASAP (online sales have ended, so they’re now available at select in-person locations and at the door — it is NOT sold out!!!).

As a reminder, this year’s finalists have each chosen community beneficiaries that they’re running on behalf of (sort of like Celebrity Apprentice but way cooler, and I think I’m prettier than Donald Trump!) — the winners will each have at least $250 donated to the org/project of their choice.  (And you can help raise those numbers by visiting the photobooth and coat check, which are being added to the kitty!)  Of course, we want our winners to also walk away with more than just our adoration and the satisfaction of helping out the community, so we’re showering them with treats from local sponsors: Rickshaw Bags, Amoeba Music, Saturn Cafe, Stone Pony, Ike’s Sandwiches, Boogaloos, Nick’s Pizza, Lexington Club, Courtney Trouble/Indie Porn Prize Pack, Extreme Pizza, California Academy of Sciences, HiTops, Cafe Delmarette, and The Picnic Basket.  There is a lot on the line, y’all!

So, without further ado, I present your court (in alphabetical order, calm down!) including their hopes, dreams, and a selection of all the nice things people said about them in the nominations process!

see you on the dancefloor,
Lil Miss Hot Mess

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Queen

Erin “Classy” Clossey

Seven-word self summary: Tough little Indiana bird: fingering farm-girl

Why I want to queen: My friends nominated me, and at first I was a bit embarrassed because I’m shy; however, I now see great opportunity in being Hard French Queen.  I’m already really involved in my community, and this will only further my evolvement as well as my ability to make a positive impact for SCRAP.

Beneficiary:  SCRAP is a great SF based non-profit that helps the environment while furthering the arts and education.  Win, win, win!

Words from friends: “Erin has a smile that says, ‘Yeah? Why the fuck not?!’ and that makes the world a better place.”  “She’s always there for friends, family and coworkers with a smile, help, a hug, or a beer. Easily one of the most regally all around amazing women ever.”  “Erin Clossey is a breath of fresh air. Unicorns and rainbows surround her. She is a peach!”  “I would trust her with a secret. I’d even trust her with my kids. Plus, she’s cute.”

Jocquese “SirJoq” Whitfield

Seven-word self summary: ” A humble dancer whose living his dream and would like to share it with the world ”

Why I want to be queen: I would like to be Queen because I would represent the title with excellence & grace. Plus I can give back to an organization of my choice to help those in need.

Beneficiary: Dance Brigade’s Dance Mission Theater is a non-profit, multi-cultural dance center located in the heart of San Francisco’s Mission District. They offer financial aid to students who can’t afford dance classes and they also have a sliding scale pricing for adults who can’t afford dance classes. I’m humbly thankful to this dance center for giving me the chance to teach Vogue & Tone, and I would love to give back as a way to say Thank You!

Words from friends: “JoQ is fierce beyond words. Once you see this queen DIP in stilettos, you’ll understand!”  Jocquese Whitfield’s presence arouses attention and entertainment to the mind body and soul.  With grace and dedication Joq physically and emotionally expresses a story effortlessly on the dance floor.”  “Incredible dancer and instructor!!”   “Lets not forget his class will whoop your ass into shape!”

Marie Brand

Seven-word self summary: FIERCE, FAT, FLY FEMME DANCING QUEEN

Why I want to be queen: Hard French is more than just a party to me, it’s a community, a network, a support, a release, a safe place and a movement. From letting me fulfill my dreams of being a fat fierce go go queen to their continued support and dedication to us over at the Dyke March, I know Hard French has got the communities back. Who wouldn’t want to represent this beautiful enigma!?!?

Beneficiary: I find my sanity on the dance floor and understand the need for a safe space to express yourself, create, and tell your story. I believe art is one of the purest forms of expression and Fresh Meat Productions‘ Sean Dorsey, has created a home where transgender and genderqueer artists can express their stories through their art, in their own words, and in their own the way.

Words from Friends: “Marie has been a huge presence in the SF Bay Area and has touched the lives of many in a positive way with her smile, great personality and of course, amazing dance moves.”  “She has drive and doesn’t give up on her dreams. Beautiful passion.”  “She’s smart, sassy, fun and she’s dedicated to helping others.”  “She’s the cat’s pajamas and will blow away anyone else competing.”

Mia Tu Mutch

Seven-word self summary: Mia is an educator, agitator, and mermaid
Why I want to queen: I always wanted to be Miss America, but thought the swimsuit portion might be a little too much so I’m trying this first.

Beneficiary: LYRIC is working to bring our LGBTQ school base initiative to more SFUSD schools to offer more students a safe and supportive classroom. Through this initiative, students, teachers and parents can explore the intersections of racism, classism, sexism, and homophobia through transformative classes, trainings, and community events.

Words from friends: “Mia is a power femme rocking this city in the name of whores, the poor, trans peeps, the queers, the kids and all other fabulously down-trodden folks. I am always stoked when I hear her speak because it makes believe that the youth are gonna keep the flame burning!”  “She is an exquisite individual who is FIERCE in practically every single way.”  “She has a wicked sense of humor, legs for days, and she’s doing it for the kids at LYRIC.”

Princess Donna

Seven-word self summary: Trying to change the world one porn at a time.

Why I want to be queen: I mean I wish I had some really nobel answer to this question. But I don’t. I love Hard French, and I every year at the Winter Ball I try and do a last minute write-in campaign. Never works. So, this time I figured I’d try for real. I moved to LA and I still want to be a part of my queer community in San Francisco. And I feel like maybe if I got to be queen, you guys wouldn’t forget about me altogether 🙂

Beneficiary: I’m choosing St. James Infirmary because everyone needs healthcare and a place to feel safe! And as a part of the sex industry I appreciate all the St. James does to provide that space.

Words from friends: “Donna is a bad ass b*tch with a really mushy sweet center!”   “Donna is a well known member of the queer community and also a respected director at kink.com.  She is dynamic, driven, stubborn, ambitious, and she has worked extremely hard to become successful as  a queer woman is in a male dominated industry.”  “She’s…. Princess Donna. What more information do you need?”

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King

Alex Blevins

Seven-word self summary: Sensitive and yielding like a Nerf Ball

Why I want to be king: I feel I represent the Hard French family well. All the laughter and love that the party provides is the same laughter and love I offer my San Francisco family.

Beneficiary:  I’m supporting Larkin Street Youth Services because there are almost 6,000 youths in the Bay Area that find themselves without a place to live each year. Larkin Street houses these youths who have come from homes of abuse and neglect and give them a new life no matter race, gender, or sexual orientation.

Words from friends: “Alex is the awesome mix of genuine teddy bear and hardcore motherfucker that you’d feel equally comfortable taking to a vampire slaughter or grandma’s sunday dinner. And after dinner, he’d be the type to carry grandma up and down a half pipe at blinding speed, making sure if they fell, he – not grandma – would be the one wiping out and bleeding.”  “Where else can you find such honesty, sexiness, and attitude rolled up into one red beard?”

Dusty Lynn Childers

Seven-word self-summary: Sassy Plus Size Southern Realness

Why I want to be king: I want to reign simply because I believe the children are our future IF we treat them well and let them lead the way. Also, the world needs a piece.

Beneficiary: The Ali Forney Center does such important work in the Queer Yourh Community. Their work speaks to my soul.

Words from friends: “Dusty brings joy to people’s lives, helps us love harder and laugh louder. Glitter follows him whenever he helps us become the better person we could be. He is selfless and thoughtful. He gives great face and can put together a hell of an outfit.”  “She is Grand and a delight full of wonderful humor and joyful surprise, and willing and able to spread it around thick as the best peanut butter and marmalade on fantastic bread.”

Jenna Haywood

Seven word self-summary: Die-Hard-Frencher Getting Shit Done

Why I want to be king: We need to keep the politics in queer. We need to make our voices heard. A vote for me is a vote for us.

Beneficiary: Civilian-Soldier Alliance is an anti-war organization that advocates for the rights of veterans and all communities affected by war. War is a queer issue. The anti-war movement needs our support.

Words from friends: “Jenna helps us remember that the time to build the world we want to see is now, not later after our shit is all tidied up. People see her at parties but might not know that she does hella anti-war organizing with vets and reads a lot of geeky critical theory by day, or that she interns in Campos’ office working on homeless issues, all while holding down a job.”  “I know for a face that she has a killer speech if she were to be nominated.”

Jerry Lee

Seven-word self summary: International Party Girl/ Stage Tech Extraordinaire

Why I want to be king: Being crowned King of the Hard French Winter Ball will not only help out an organization that I truly love but It will also most likely increase my chances of getting gang banged in the balcony.

Beneficiary: Sins Invalid is one of the bay areas most life affirming performance projects. I have been honored to have stage managed their shows over the years.

Words from friends: “Jerry Lee is is kind, humble, sweet, sexy, chatty, upbeat, genuine and frankly, a national treasure.”  “Duh, without him the entire queer art community would be F*CKED!  Jerry Lee spends all his free time helping us all create fabulous stage shows.  He is the man behind the curtain, herding kittens, cooling off divas and getting shit done.”  “He loves life and grabs it by the balls every chance he gets! He works hard and plays hard.”

Paul Hendry

Seven-word self summary: Passionate trans/lgb community and event organizer

Why I want to be king:  O’ to be king of this Bay Area-landia even for one sacred night would be a testament to the work I have been doing over the last few years. It would give me an even greater opportunity to give back!

Beneficiary: I want to give to San Francisco LGBT Community Center because of the important work that they are doing to empower the trans community from youth to adults through their youth programs including youth meal night and the Transgender Economic Empowerment Initiative. They, also, are doing amazing things with financial literacy, small business assistance, and first time home buying.
Words from friends: “Paul is a constant source of support for his community, offering food, a warm place to stay, a friendly ear, or just open arms. There are few people who cross paths with Paul Hendry that don’t walk away feeling more connected to him & their community.”  “He is a shining example of what we all should be- a true human being.”  “He’s HOT. Funny, has read comics his whole life. And, most importantly, LOOVES pickles!”